Walmart

Tempature

A big shot executive had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff.
None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.
She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, can't use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something.
Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She leaves the door to his room open on her way out.
He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.
After half an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room.
"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc?
Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation."

Hey Field

Old Age

Beach

Shave and a Shine